प्रीय तिम्रो यादमा
छट्पटिदै
पिडाहरु लुकाउन
हास्दाहास्दै
बहुलाएका छ्यणहरु

Alas! Where I am?
Stuck in this dark world.
I try to reach out,
But nothing is seen.
I try to walk forward,
But the thorns are all around.
I try to escape,
But there is no way out.

Alas! Where I am?
Stuck in this suffocating world.
I try to remove the darkness,
I try to remove the thorns,
But alas! I am left with nothing but the wounds.
I shout to god, “Please don’t do this to me,
Please don’t let this thing destroy me,
Please let me live my life.”

Then, the sayings of Shantideva struck my mind,
“Where would I possibly find enough leather,
With which to cover the surface of earth?
But wearing leather just on the soles of my shoes,
Is equivalent to covering the earth with it.
Likewise, it isn’t possible for me,
To restrain the external cause of things.
But should I restrain the mind of mine,
What would be the need to restrain everything else?”

It is then, when I realize,
That the darkness wasn’t outside,
But within my own mind.

The Miracle of the Bouddhanath Stupa

I wrote this article two years before. I thought of sending it to the Himalayan Times and get it printed on the newspaper if approved. But I didn’t get to submit it at all (as if I would get it approved if submitted:)) and it was left on my computer just like that. But now that I came to know about the blogs, I am posting this article though its now kind of stale. Though, articles can be written now and then, topics like this seldom comes…..well,….in my opinion. So, I present this article as it was written on 19^th of July, 2005.

It was on this year’s 17^th of July, at about 10:00 in the night. My parents and grand-parents had already gone to sleep. I had a small exam the next day. So, I was doing a bit of my studies. Just then, I heard one guy speaking to an old lady living in the opposite house of ours. He was saying, “Bouddha……”. I listened carefully. He repeated, “Bouddha ko chaap aakashma thyammai paretsa”. As soon as I heard that, I recalled what my grandma had said.

Some fifteen years ago, when there was not much people around the Bouddhanath, and when we were living in one of the houses in the Bouddha circle, my grandma had seen the same thing. My grandpa used to do prayers till late in the night and when he was looking through the window to pay homage to the Bouddhanath, he saw a shadow of the Bouddhanath Stupa on the sky. There was the shadow of the whole body of the Bouddhanath Stupa and it was larger than the actual Stupa. There was no light (like these days) around the Stupa except the moonlight. And, he had shown this to grandma and my dad.

My sis and I said that there must be some scientific reasons behind it and tested in our own very small and childish ways with a candle and other stuffs. Of course, we couldn’t figure out much from it and we thought that it must be the shadow falling on cloud or dust particles in the sky. People having deep faith in the Stupa must be criticizing and bad-mouthing me on these words of mine. But, I am also a true believer of Buddha and his religion. So, recalling these things, I jumped out of my bed and told this thing to my grandparents and parents. They told me that I can see it from the roof of house also. So, we went, but there was no sign. I thought of going inside the Bouddha circle to get the glimpse. And although it was late at night, me and my mom went outside. There were lots of Tibetan Buddhist monks from monasteries near our home running to get the glimpse. Everyone was running with the fear that the shadow might get disappeared before arriving. It was not like 10:00 at night (with no one around).

When we arrived at Bouddhanath, it was quite crowded. It was raining and everyone was eager to get the glimpse, running here and there in the rain water with umbrellas, saying from this or that side, the picture is clearer. And, from the gate side of Bouddhanath, I saw this miracle too. There was a shadow of Bouddhanath Stupa on the sky on the upper-left side of the Stupa, though it was not as big as the one my grandma had seen. And, the shadow wasn’t complete also. There was the shadow of upper part of the Stupa with the small flags around. Some said that earlier, with the shadow of the Bouddhanath Stupa, shadow of the Swayambunath Stupa was also seen. I don’t know how much truth is there in it. May be they saw two shadows of Bouddhanath itself. Everyone was paying their homage in their own ways, i.e. some saying prayers, some folding their hands and bowing, some doing full prostrations around the Stupa in the rain and some burning incense. Some were also taking photographs, which I just now saw being sold on the ways of Bouddhanath, four times the usual photograph price. My eyes also got moistened to have a glimpse of the shadow of this so precious Stupa called Bouddhanath on the night sky.

It is said that all the enlightened Buddhas of past, present and future fused into a single body of light and rays, and dissolved into this Stupa. Some were saying now, something good is going to happen in Nepal. Some Tibetans were saying, “May be we will get the freedom of Tibet very soon”. An old Buddhist monk near me told me that I was lucky to experience this moment. And I must realize the kindness of parents of not only this life but of previous lives too and make prayers for them and all living beings. Praying for oneself only will do no good. And that we should always follow the advices of our spiritual leader, His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Actually, I being young and him seeing lots of youngsters doing things, which contradict the advices of His Holiness, he was giving those lectures to me to keep our culture alive and basically, be a humble, simple and good human being.